Expectations...

I have been to massage done by an old friend. This was the 1st time I have gone to him, and was a bit nervous when we arranged it. My nervousness had several reasons, 1st is I am always nervous when I go to a new place, as I don't know whether I will like the person or not and how the treatment will be, I assume most of us feel the same way. Another reason I was nervous about is that I have never had massage by a friend (except my boyfriends, but that is different :)).
Anyhow I got there, got on the massage chair and all was good, he was doing a great job on my back - which is stiff all the time, so it was rather a painful experience, but it worth it at the end.
I asked him to tell me what happened to him since we met last, so he started to tell me things. At 1 point he told me he will complain about a friend of his, because he is so disappointed, so I told him to go ahead, I have all the time in the world and that is why friends are for. As I was listening, I found it funny and interesting. He told me that this friend doesn't call him - not even if they agreed that they will meet at a later time - to ask how he was etc...and I realized that he does the same thing. He says he is my friend, but he never calls me to ask how I am and we only meet if I arrange it (unless I go to his concert).
So it is all about expectations. When something is important for us, but we need others to help us achieve it, we always feel that everyone should feel the importance of that one specific meeting, occasion and we expect our friends to support us in every possible way. But in the meantime we forget that there might be other things which take priority in our freinds' lives and they might forget to call / text us and maybe they even cancel our meeting.
So I wonder what my friend would say if I would tell him that it makes me sad that he doesn't return my calls and he doesn't send me the date for my next massage. It is important for me, he could help me, still he is not doing it - or not in the timeline I expect.....

another one

well this is rare, 2 notes after each other, but hey ho :) I had dinner with an old colleague tonight (in TR), who no longer works with me, but we shared some good times in the past, I would even say we are close to be friends. We have not met for several months but still it was easy to 'continue' where we left it when he left the company. It is very interesting that he was reminding me of some things I told him a year ago, about being a grown up and what a sheltered life he has. Now nearly a year later, he is planning his wedding and his future life without expecting help from his family. Sometimes I am so surprised how 'wise' I can be without realizing it. :D

Just a note

I have not written to this blog again for a very long time... lots of things happened but there is no point listing them all. Some good things, 1 friend of mine became a father last summer and I am really happy for him. Another friend of mine is expecting her second child, one of my friend got married and I bought my own flat and already moved in.

I also met an old friend whom I have not seen at least 5 years. I did think about him occasionally but never really tried to find him. Then last September someone reminded me of him and told me he is on FB, so I tracked him down and we became FB 'friends'. He has written me messages - randomly - and as he is a guy, he didn't bother replying to all my replies. :) First I was annoyed then I realized what a fool I am and decided that I will try to be patient. I will be honest I was checking my FB account everyday to see if he has written and was disappointed that he didn't. Then got invited to a concert where we finally met, though only for 5 mins (he was the signer :)) and again, he told me he will get in touch - which he didn't for a week. So I decided I try his old number, and believe it or not, it is still working, so we did talk and agreed to meet. Again, I was pessimistic as always, and was waiting for him to cancel it. He did change the time once, but then he did call as he promised and we did meet. And it just made my day. Have you ever realized that some people are missing from your life without you even noticing it? This guy was there for me when I broke up with my boyfriend hundreds of times, and I never really appreciated it. Until now. I guess you need to age to understand the value of friends, and it doesn't matter if they don't call you every day, they don't send you messages because when you really need them, they are there. So I will try to be a good friend, not to be too demanding and accept whatever he's giving me and I hope I will not loose him again.