Wednesday, February 15, 2012
another one
well this is rare, 2 notes after each other, but hey ho :) I had dinner with an old colleague tonight (in TR), who no longer works with me, but we shared some good times in the past, I would even say we are close to be friends. We have not met for several months but still it was easy to 'continue' where we left it when he left the company. It is very interesting that he was reminding me of some things I told him a year ago, about being a grown up and what a sheltered life he has. Now nearly a year later, he is planning his wedding and his future life without expecting help from his family. Sometimes I am so surprised how 'wise' I can be without realizing it. :D
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Just a note
I have not written to this blog again for a very long time... lots of things happened but there is no point listing them all. Some good things, 1 friend of mine became a father last summer and I am really happy for him. Another friend of mine is expecting her second child, one of my friend got married and I bought my own flat and already moved in.
I also met an old friend whom I have not seen at least 5 years. I did think about him occasionally but never really tried to find him. Then last September someone reminded me of him and told me he is on FB, so I tracked him down and we became FB 'friends'. He has written me messages - randomly - and as he is a guy, he didn't bother replying to all my replies. :) First I was annoyed then I realized what a fool I am and decided that I will try to be patient. I will be honest I was checking my FB account everyday to see if he has written and was disappointed that he didn't. Then got invited to a concert where we finally met, though only for 5 mins (he was the signer :)) and again, he told me he will get in touch - which he didn't for a week. So I decided I try his old number, and believe it or not, it is still working, so we did talk and agreed to meet. Again, I was pessimistic as always, and was waiting for him to cancel it. He did change the time once, but then he did call as he promised and we did meet. And it just made my day. Have you ever realized that some people are missing from your life without you even noticing it? This guy was there for me when I broke up with my boyfriend hundreds of times, and I never really appreciated it. Until now. I guess you need to age to understand the value of friends, and it doesn't matter if they don't call you every day, they don't send you messages because when you really need them, they are there. So I will try to be a good friend, not to be too demanding and accept whatever he's giving me and I hope I will not loose him again.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Why do we always want more....
Feelings and needs are interesting and funny things. It is a human thing that we always want more. It starts when we are kids, we see that someone else has a brighter bike, so we want a bright want too. It doesn't matter, not for 1 second, that a brighter bike will not go faster, will not take us different routes, but still.....And this is just getting worse as we are getting older and we see more of the world. The saying is very true that money cannot make you happy, and we say it is true, but still keep on buying things to fill our needs for happiness.
We are living in a rushing world, where people do not have time to talk to each other. We send emails, we chat but we very rarely spend time with our loved ones, when all we do, is concentrate on them. Someone once told me that love is when you can be silent with someone, and just by being with each other, walking together you tell everything. It is so true. We can tell someone that we love them, we miss them and we care about them, if everything we do, says the opposite.
I know that men and women see it different, women are more emotional, and they want to hear things, but I also know that one of the reason for this, is that they can't feel it sometimes, and they need that small thing, the power of spoken words as a security, that they are loved, missed and cared about. And if we are not told and we cannot feel it either, then we just panic. So we will be asking questions, complain about everything and the whole situation can get worse, as we will not be satisfied with the answer because deep inside, we want the other person to make us feel that way.
So is there a way out of this? Possibly. Would it be easy to find? Definitely not. We can try to accept what ever is given to us and not to think about all the 'if'-s, because those will just make us feel down.
Reading what I have written made me think, what was the real purpose of this little piece of work. I am unhappy at the moment, that is for sure. I know the reason and I know that I possibly over reacting some things and maybe I should just give it a little time. But that is the hardest thing to do. And you know why, because I am made of woman who wants to be loved, missed and cared about. I want to feel it and I want to be told.
So if anyone feels this way, cheer up, there is a good in every bad, and everything has its reasons. One, definitely is to look into ourselves, be honest to ourselves and learn from our own mistakes. Because we are not perfect either.
We are living in a rushing world, where people do not have time to talk to each other. We send emails, we chat but we very rarely spend time with our loved ones, when all we do, is concentrate on them. Someone once told me that love is when you can be silent with someone, and just by being with each other, walking together you tell everything. It is so true. We can tell someone that we love them, we miss them and we care about them, if everything we do, says the opposite.
I know that men and women see it different, women are more emotional, and they want to hear things, but I also know that one of the reason for this, is that they can't feel it sometimes, and they need that small thing, the power of spoken words as a security, that they are loved, missed and cared about. And if we are not told and we cannot feel it either, then we just panic. So we will be asking questions, complain about everything and the whole situation can get worse, as we will not be satisfied with the answer because deep inside, we want the other person to make us feel that way.
So is there a way out of this? Possibly. Would it be easy to find? Definitely not. We can try to accept what ever is given to us and not to think about all the 'if'-s, because those will just make us feel down.
Reading what I have written made me think, what was the real purpose of this little piece of work. I am unhappy at the moment, that is for sure. I know the reason and I know that I possibly over reacting some things and maybe I should just give it a little time. But that is the hardest thing to do. And you know why, because I am made of woman who wants to be loved, missed and cared about. I want to feel it and I want to be told.
So if anyone feels this way, cheer up, there is a good in every bad, and everything has its reasons. One, definitely is to look into ourselves, be honest to ourselves and learn from our own mistakes. Because we are not perfect either.
Monday, October 1, 2007
To Love or not to Love
This is the never lasting question. When you are in love, you think that everything is fine and no bad thing can happen to any of you or between you. But suddenly something happens and the world isn't such a great place anymore.
Love is the most difficult thing as there are no clear rules. I had a relationship recently, I thought everything is going in the right direction, but then 1 day, it was all over. Without a word it has just ended. Since that day I keep thinking what was that one thing, which has driven us to the end, but still did not find any reason. We were different, had different background, are from different culture, but these things should make things more interesting, and not more difficult, or am I wrong?
Also my foolish heart cannot accept that it's over. I still check if he's online on chat, it's funny but it gives me a kind of security that I see him online, even if we don't speak. Though I know that the risk is there, that we will just start things all over again, and then I will be left broken hearted again.
So why do we do it? Why can't we learn from our own mistakes? Why can't we just delete someone from our heart forever?
Love is the most difficult thing as there are no clear rules. I had a relationship recently, I thought everything is going in the right direction, but then 1 day, it was all over. Without a word it has just ended. Since that day I keep thinking what was that one thing, which has driven us to the end, but still did not find any reason. We were different, had different background, are from different culture, but these things should make things more interesting, and not more difficult, or am I wrong?
Also my foolish heart cannot accept that it's over. I still check if he's online on chat, it's funny but it gives me a kind of security that I see him online, even if we don't speak. Though I know that the risk is there, that we will just start things all over again, and then I will be left broken hearted again.
So why do we do it? Why can't we learn from our own mistakes? Why can't we just delete someone from our heart forever?
Friday, September 28, 2007
How to make a mess in the city within minutes
Budapest is an amazing city. Something is always happening. Well we couldn't say it is a clean city as it is, we have problems with city dogs - or with their owners?!
Still, we can make an even bigger mess in the city within a minute. Every year there is a day in every distric's life, when citizens can get rid off all their rubbish. All we have to do is put the rubbish out on to the street on the given day, and then wait for the binman to come and collect it. It is a really good thing, and especially cheap for us. But this means to city just turns into a big big big rubbish dumping place. It's all over on the streets, you can't walk and of course you can't park your car. To top it all, there are always people who want to search all the rubbish to make it a bigger mess and of course us being Hungarians, the pile always gets smaller by the time the binman arrives - as we always say, 'It will be good later on!' So you can see people coming with big cars and searching through the rubbish for things they want to re-use in their household.
I have decided that I will get rid of my old cupboard as it was nearly falling apart. It took me a few hours to get it apart, another hour or so to take all the pieces down from the flat - and then 5 mins later it was all gone! A couple just came when my sis and me finished to put all the pieces out on the street, and in that minute they have started to take the pieces to their car. Hope they will be able to put it back together - good luck for you people! :)
So what is the learning of the day? - rubbish might not be rubbish, it is only a matter of looking at it from a different angle. There is always someone who can be happy with our rubbish.
Still, we can make an even bigger mess in the city within a minute. Every year there is a day in every distric's life, when citizens can get rid off all their rubbish. All we have to do is put the rubbish out on to the street on the given day, and then wait for the binman to come and collect it. It is a really good thing, and especially cheap for us. But this means to city just turns into a big big big rubbish dumping place. It's all over on the streets, you can't walk and of course you can't park your car. To top it all, there are always people who want to search all the rubbish to make it a bigger mess and of course us being Hungarians, the pile always gets smaller by the time the binman arrives - as we always say, 'It will be good later on!' So you can see people coming with big cars and searching through the rubbish for things they want to re-use in their household.
I have decided that I will get rid of my old cupboard as it was nearly falling apart. It took me a few hours to get it apart, another hour or so to take all the pieces down from the flat - and then 5 mins later it was all gone! A couple just came when my sis and me finished to put all the pieces out on the street, and in that minute they have started to take the pieces to their car. Hope they will be able to put it back together - good luck for you people! :)
So what is the learning of the day? - rubbish might not be rubbish, it is only a matter of looking at it from a different angle. There is always someone who can be happy with our rubbish.
My first blog
Well, the day has come that I created my first blog. I was reading a friend of mine's and it is so well written, I thought I will try as well. I might not be too good at the beginning, but I hope I will get better.
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